not a good day :(

Well today isnt a good day for me, i keep getting flash backs of Bryce and its ripping my heart out so much,

i regret not holding him for htat long, i regret not tellimng him i loved him that much on the day, i regret not giving him a kiss,

these are the things i should of done, i cant do them now,
when the nurse brought him over to me i pushed them away.....

i wish i held him for longer,

i jsut want him back,, i want jason to have his older brother back.....
its so not fair how can god take a child away....
i know i should be happy because i have Jason and i am, though it doesnt take the pain away,
Jason looks like Bryce so much,
im not being greedy i am happy with jason i love him to death and nothing will/would ever change that, though why cant i have them both