3 Questions

How long has it been since you lost your child/ren? Has your grief changed at all? Is your life becoming any easier or is it just harder as time passes?

It has been 12 months and 3 days since we lost bryce, I have my good days and my bad days, atley i have had more bad days then good, Life has been getting a bit easyer as we have jsut welcomed Bryces little brother Jason into the world, Jason also looks just like Bryce so in some ways it makes it harder,

How do you feel when you see pregnant women when you are out and about?

I honestly used to hate seeing pregnent ladies around, as i used to think its not fair, why them and not me, i think the ladies must of knew buy the look on my face and how i would almost cry, they would look at me and smile to as if to say "im sorry", it took a good while for me to get over the hurt and pain of seeing pregnent ladies, though now i am fine with it, as i know a little life is so presious (sp)

Whats your therapy in the aftermath of losing your child/ren? Do you go to counseling? Do you do artwork or some kind of exercise or do you simply just let yourself be? What helps you?

i used to get therapy though i found it made me worse, i usallylisten to music to cope with it all, as Bryce used to love my singing it used to put him to sleep, so if i feel down i jsut put on some tunes and sing, sometimes i will jsut have a big cry and let it out sometimes that workes, or i jsut talk to other Angel mums and share what i am going through with them,
or if I get to bad i will go down and see Bryce and ask for the strength to get through all of it,

**update** just called the hospital to see if he has lasted at least 4 hours off the CPAP and at 8.50 they had to put him back on, he only lasted jsut over 2 and 1/2 hours off it, he had a pretty bad brady and apnia, they needed to give him stimulation and the facial oxygen I am so scared for him

Jason Update :(

ok so DH and I have jsut come back from the hospital this evening from seeing jason,And the nurses told me that he had an xray the other day of his chest, so i asked what the results where and they told me he has Chonic Lung Desise.... um hello... why didnt any one call me and tell me??????and his PDA is still open :( and he is now to old for the medication so the only way to close it if it doesnt close on its own is surgury :(:(:(:(:(:(they told me tht there is a chance that he might be sent homeon oxegyn... though he might not need if for long, though tells me not to get stressed or panik?? like WTF!!!!! my son has lung problems... and heart problems that could be fatel though dont stress??????? yeah right.......



though on some what of a good news We might be bringing Jason home as early as in 4 weeks, she said between 4 to 6 weeks and we shoudl be bringing him home

Today

well we went and see bryce today and took him down a cup cake, i cryed and cryed now i am realy tired

The Day

Well the day has come :(

Happy First Angel Day Bryce,
mummy daddy and Jason love you so very much,
There isnt a day that goes by that we do not think of you
There isnt a day that goes by that we dont love
You was taken to soon
to Precious for this world
In our hearts and our minds you will forever stay

I love you Bryce and miss you so very much
Love mummy

stop tomorrow

Can someone stop tomorrow from even coming?
i dont want it to come :(

1 year tomorrow

Its been 1 year tomorrow since Bryce was taken for us, im not ready for htat day to come, though i know there is no stopping it, im not fully ready to say good bye,
I want him here with us, not up there,
How can i say a final good bye when i am not ready
i still think its a dream some days an di am going to wake up from it :( and he will be in my arms,
Its jsut not fair,
Why do we loose the things we love the most for