Second Christmas

Well yesterday was Bryce's second christmas with out us,
it was quite upsetting, i was trying to stay happy for jason as it being his first
though i didnt feel right being happy knowing that he would like to be here as well
Bryce's yellow butterfly came and visited me yesterday before any one showed up and i wished him a merry christmas
the butterfly landed right beside me and sat there for about 10 mins, i new it was bryce, I am sure he would of loved ebinghere if he was able to
i just miss him so much
Merry christmas Bryce

Missing him Deeply

I seem to be missing Bryce so much more these days,
I have been told by several people that the pain will ease one day, and instead of it hurting i will be able to smile,
I am starting to hate my self, as i am forgetting what he looked like, what he felt like, what he smelt like
I wish that i held him for longer and talked to him more.....
as i know i wil never be able to do this again

its been jsut over 18 months since my special little man grew his wings and wanted to see what heven was like before mummy and daddy,
it still feels like yesterday I miss him so much

i dont go out and visit him as much as what i should any more as its hard to becuase everytime i go out there with Jason he doesnt like it and we have to leave as jason screams the place down,


Im waiting untl i get my comuter back and i will be making a special video of bryce, with the photos of my belly with him, his ultrasound photos the photos that the funeral home got for us and also the photos of his final resting place,
Its going to be hard to make it though i at least owe Bryce that amount of respect

Good Days, Bad Days

as we all know we have our good days and then we have our bad days,
I have been having quiet a few good days, though i jsut read of a lady who lost her little boy to SIDS and he was only 11.5 weeks old,
My heart just broke for her, i dont know what its like to loose a child to SIDS thoughi do know what it is like to loose a child,
if i could Please get all you ladies to pray for Jackie, and he family for the loss of you son Kai,

My heart breaks so bad when i see something like this as no parent should have to go through this,
though please may i ask everyone for there support for Jackie and her family in this time in need
Thank you

a big thank youto carly for doing this for me

Bryce's page and sunset
http://namesinthesand.blogspot.com/2009/10/bryce-onyx-atkinson.html

17 months

so its been jsut over 17 months since my little man grew his wings,
everyone told me that it gets easyer, though i still remember the day like it was just yesterday, the voice of the doctor telling me "im sorry there is nothingwe can do, you are going to have your little boy today",
i still remember the heart ake in my husbands eye and i still remember the piece of my heart that was taken that day,
i dont think it gets easyer.......

some days i really need to think about what he looked like, what he felt like and what he smelt like,
some days i cant really remember and others its clear as anything

i love you litle man

hello

hey guys i jsut wanted to give this link to you all to have a look at,
i have decided to do a blog for this little pumpkin,
so feel free to read and keep updated
http://anewlifeanewbeggining.blogspot.com/

Baby number 3

hey guys so sorry i have been really quite for a while now,
Jason has been keeping me on my toes lol
though yeah about a week ago i found out that daniel and i are expecting baby number #3, i took another pregnancy test this morning and plain as all day there were 2 lines,
Im shocked and scared and thrilled all at the same time i really dont know how to feel,
Im so so so scared that i am going to go into pre term labour again, and i would really love to go full term
I have a doctors apointment tomorrow to get a refferal for an ultrasound, so i can find out how far along i am,
As a few ladies that i have spoken to have said that the + line was really dark for only being 8DPO so either i am further along or its twins,
i guess we jsut have to wait and see